How I Got My Very Own Romanian Stalker

My mother always told me not to talk to strangers. In fact, there is even a Rick Springfield song about just that sort of thing. It's called, “Don't Talk to Strangers.” Or at least he did. A long time ago. It's a very creepy song in retrospect.

Neither my mother nor Rick Springfield said anything about cooing to strangers, however. They said absolutely nothing about what could possibly happen if you stood on the balcony in the middle of Bucharest, Romania, and imitated the cooing noises of the local doves while leaving breadcrumbs.

Yep, that's what I did, and here is what happened.

There is a tree outside our fifth-story window in which about a half-dozen of the little gray-brown-lavender-ish birds perch. They watch me and Mark as we stand outside. When we are inside, with the door open, one will occasionally perch on the balcony and strain its neck to look inside the apartment.

Last week, I thought I would have some fun with them. So I imitated their sound and figured they would ignore me the same way the cows back home do. Nuh-uh. One bird seemed to get very excited and came to perch on the building. Then it came closer, and perched on the bar my clothesline is attached to. It began cooing enthusiastically and shaking its wings and tail feathers. It was downright embarrassing. Cute, but embarrassing.

I wasn't quite sure, culturally speaking, what the correct response on my part was. So I said, “Oh look, how cute!” or something equally inspiring.

That wasn't the end of it. There is a window in the bathroom too. Later that day, my dove (I'm going to assume for the sake of my own sanity that there is only one dove who is convinced I'm The One) perched in the bathroom window, cooing its little head off, craning its neck and trying to find a way through the closed window. I cooed back. It stopped, cocked its head and cooed again. I answered and we went on like this for about a minute and a half. When I stopped, the bird set up such a fuss, I began to feel a bit...concerned. And all the while it was on the window sill shaking its tail feathers at me.

Now I find myself checking the windows uneasily for doves every time I go into a room. I wonder what it was that I actually said?