defying death

Something that surprises me is that I'm not too nervous about this procedure being done on me. I think it comes in phases. When I was first debating this back in December, the thought of the surgery scared me to death. The statistics for death because of the donation is very low, something like 3 to 10,000.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch did a very good (but disturbing) series about living kidney donation last month. I read it a week before I flew to Phoenix for my testing. The stories talked about how some people feel they are not educated on the risks of the surgery before they agree to donate. Some have ended up in comas and died, while others have needed their own kidney donation years down the line.

Before I read the Post-Dispatch series, I don't think I was looking at the situation realistically. I thought that everything will be OK and that something bad hardly happens. The stories opened my eyes.

When I talked with my surgeon and my independend advocate at the Mayo Clinic, I mentioned the stories and they rolled their eyes. "Something bad in the media... again," is pretty much what they said. Neither had read the series.

Reflecting on my own experience so far, I do feel like I have been warned of all the risks that can be associated with the surgery. I also feel good about the statistics that the Mayo Clinic has given me, and Dr. Andrews' (my surgeon) "batting average".

But I know that in a few weeks, when I'm sitting in a room with my surgery gown and my hairnet on, I'm going to be so completely freaked out. I will yell, "Bring on the drugs and knock me out!"

Let's get this thing over with.

(To see the St. Louis Post-Dispatch series, go to: www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/special/organdonors.nsf/front?OpenView&Count=2000)