A tale of two pimps

The word pimp has many different uses. If you don't believe me, check out m-w.com, urbandictionary.com, dictionary.com, or wikipedia. Most people associate the word with prostitution but it can also describe flamboyant people or things. You can pimp your ride to make it stand out. Physicians can pimp medical students by asking them a series of difficult questions.

Some use it when referring to men who are popular with the ladies. (And women who are popular with men.) I personally know people that use the word to refer to someone that has complete and total domination over another. For example, when he was with the Bulls Chicago Bulls Michael Jordan was the pimp of the NBA. Currently, Roger Federer is the pimp of men's tennis.

Today we are going to look at two men that could easily be called pimp.

Pimp up

Charles Larke is a pimp with a capital "P". He went from close to being fired, to being investigated for giving improper loans, to negotiating a new deal, to getting the school board to sign his new contract without even reading it.

Now it is being reported that he is still getting paid even though he has done very little work as a "consultant" for the school board.

This man should change his name to Bishop Laid Back Larke or King Charles. Three 6 Mafia's It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp should be his cell phone ring tone. His entire wardrobe should consist of fur coats, alligator shoes and matching hats. He needs to buy an old Cadillac el Dorado>, park it outside of the school board office and blast Jay-Z's Big Pimpin' while backhanding everyone that walks out of the building.

Larke is a pimp because he seems to have complete control over the school board. He is the Roger Federer of the Board of Education. It is his world; they are just living in it.

You can complain until the cows come home but you still better have his money.

Pimp Down

It is with a heavy heart when I tell you that one of the biggest pimps in the world is about to retire. Reports are circulating that Hugh Marston Hefner, Mr. Playboy Magazine himself, is going to marry Holly Madison, a Playboy Model and one of his three girlfriends. He has been married twice before so hopefully the third time will be the charm.

My respect for Mr. Hefner, a.k.a. Hef, is no big secret. I mentioned in a previous blog that I admire him for more than just his work with Playboy. He is an advocate for Civil Rights and is a strong supporter of the First Amendment. The fact that he is rich, parties with models, drinks and lives in a mansion is just icing on the cake.

Hefner is a pimp because he is popular with the ladies. There must be something about an 80-year-old man who can party like a college student. He sees more naked women in a day than I have seen in my almost 30 years of living. And that's not counting the women that a posing for his magazine.

He makes being single look good. Anytime I feel bad about not having a special someone in my life, I can just look at Hef and be reminded that being single isn't that bad.

Getting married won't diminish the respect that I have for him but it will make me a little sad. A pimping legend is calling it quits so put on your smoking jackets and pour out a little Cognac.