Clean-up in the Aisle of (My) Life

It should come as no surprise to anyone that some of our worst experiences as a family have revolved around shopping. That's what one might expect with such sexual-inequality around this joint -- the ratio of shoppers-to-non-shoppers does not work in my favor.

But for some reason, it catches me off-guard every time.

Yesterday, after Mass and breakfast, we headed to Target to pick up birthday gifts for a few upcoming parties. So yes,technically, there were only two items on our list.

Except, we got to the store and it was so nice and quiet and freezing outside and we had nothing else going on for the rest of the day. What's 30-minutes extra in the grand scheme of a day?

Apparently, 30-minutes too much.

Let me start by saying I should have caught on right away when I stopped in the maternity section to look for some pants (I knew specifically which pants and which size) and in the twelve seconds it took to look someone couldn't figure out why we weren't moving forward still.

"Go on without me," I said, "I'll catch up."

At the other end of the store, once we were done with our gift selections (glow-in-the-dark basketball and some kind of rocket launcher) we spent the requisite time in the sports section and then began to walk. That's when the real problems set in. The Bazaar stuff (PierOne-lite) was 50 percent off. And while I didn't technically need anything, it was fun to look. Not wanting to look makes absolutely no sense to me.

After a few heavy exhales (NOT from me) I got the point; time to move on. And then we came to the discounted Valentine's stuff. Again, Just Looking! Cute red bowls marked down, could be perfect for cereal in the morning, or that heart-shaped serving dish, so cute.

But no time. Because when there are two items on the list and two items in the cart? Time to go! Job here is done.

We finally made it to the check-out and then to the car where I finally lost my shopping cool and let loose.

"What is the big deal," I asked, "to linger a bit and just look at stuff?"

"But it wasn't on the list," answered someone, the more vocal anti-shopper of the group.

"But we have no where else to be," I said laughing. And admittedly exasperated. This back and forth went on for several rounds.

"Mom," said Charlie finally, after we were getting nowhere, "it's because we're men."