Ride On The Peace Train Of Thought

I had my prenatal work-up yesterday, my first official doctor's appointment for Baby Balducci No. 5.

It didn't go that well.

I mean, not to worry, it went fine. My iron looks good, heartbeat sounds good, I didn't gain nearly as much weight as I deserved. But I have to get a procedure on Friday to help ensure a safe and full-term pregnancy. I'll whisper it here in case there are some wimps among us: cerclage.

The truth is this procedue is not a huge deal, but it's something -- something I have to do that I hadn't planned. I'm going in this afternoon for pre-op, and then I'll do that little thing Friday morning and come home Friday afternoon.

I guess I sort of (but not really) forgot about my last trimester with August, which required three weeks of bedrest because I dilated several weeks early and also had regular contractions starting at 35 weeks. Minor detail. I remember those details, but I guess not the two of them TOGETHER. That's sort of not minor.

So when my doctor was reviewing my chart yesterday, out came her recommendation and here I am. I'm pretty nervous, I won't lie.

I was driving down the road this morning, on the way home to get ready for the appointment thinking about how nervous I really am. Reminding myself people get this done all the time (right?!) and how quick it will go. A very quick procedure.

It wasn't helping. I was still very preoccupied.

Then a song came on the radio by the Wallflowers, One Headlight. And I like the song just fine, but really it made me think about my brother Gabe. Because my cousin thinks he looks like the lead singer from the Wallflowers (I agree).

And then thinking about Gabe led me to think of his wife Summer, and how she had a C-section with her second son, now almost four. And how having a C-section is a much bigger deal than this procedure.

And also, she had her son on the same day her father died. He died that morning in a hospital in Atlanta, and she delivered a few hours later here in Augusta. She had to have the baby that day because he had potentially life-threatening heart problems (he ended up being totally healthy).

I thought about how Summer handled that whole situation with as much grace and dignity and peace as I could have ever imagined. I was amazed as I watched her and my brother walk thought that situation, almost four years ago.

God's grace was, incredibly, sufficient.

And then I thought back to where I was, driving down the road and feeling a little afraid. And I'm not comparing -- I'm not saying this is "nothing" compared to that. I'm still nervous. But if the grace was there for her in that overwhelming situation, surely God will provide all I need.

And then I thought about how amazing it is to watch other people walk through situations relying on God's grace, and how that inspires me to trust in God. I was so thankful for Gabe and Summer's wonderful example, and how it was helping me right now.

And then the song ended, and I was feeling a bit better.