all is well (pt. 2)

I forgot to include something in the last blog. Annie was up and walking the night of the surgery. It was just amazing to see her up and at it. She was pretty hunched over and medicated, but she just looked so proud. I was very proud of her as well. The nurses weren't too sure about her getting up but she wasn't hearing any of it. She was getting up and that was final.

The first night didn't go so well. Drew stayed with me so that helped. I was so tired, but I woke up about every hour. I was hoked up to an IV and plus they came in every hour or so to check my body temperature, heartbeat, and blood pressure. They were giving me Toradol (sp?) and about 4 mg. of morphine. The morphine felt reeeeeally good but the Toradol wasn't doing anything. At 1 a.m., they gave me just some more toradol but during the next hour I just felt like I was getting worse. I stayed up and my mind just wandered. I'd get teary-eyed when I thought of Annie, and everytime I'd close my eyes I'd see people standing over me. I don't know if that was the drugs, or what ... it probably was. I think I eventually pushed the nurses button, the best nurse in the whole wide world, Steven, came in. He was my night shift nurse for the two nights I was there. I told him that I was feeling worse and asked him if I could have some more morphine. He checked the doctor's orders and I was cleared for another 2 mg. of morphine.

The whole night they had been checking my urine output. During the day I was going pretty good but that night I basically hadn't done anything. At 4 a.m., they started to worry -- which made me incredibly nervous. I started shaking and I had another nurse wake Drew up so he could be with me. I had Drew stroke my head and I just started bawling. The only thing that was going through my mind was: Oh my God, something is wrong with my kidney and they're going to have to do another surgery. I could feel my face starting to get tingly, which is usually a sign that I'm starting to hyperventilate. My stomach hurt so bad because I was shaking and sobbing. Steven came back in and just told me that everything was going to be fine, that this happens all the time with donors because our organs just like to shut down at night. He said they probably just needed to fiddle with my catheter, that maybe there was a kink somewhere. Sure enough, they worked with it a little and a little bit came out: enough where they weren't so worried anymore. I started to calm down but I didn't feel like going back to sleep, so I stayed up until 5 with Drew and I ate more jello and ice chips. I rang the nurse again and told her I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom and she fiddled with the catheter and out all of it came. Oh my lord, that was such a relief. :)

My doctors came by at about 7 a.m. that morning. Howard, the physician's assistant, came by first and asked to see my scars. He then removed the tape from my scar across my pubic bone. OWWWWWWW! Oh my God, that hurt soooo bad. I am such a wimp. But they said everything was looking good and I had better color. They were surprised that I hadn't gotten up to walk yesterday and gave me marching orders to have me up and walking at least four times.

I decided it was time to get up at about 10 a.m. I was so nervous because it was hugely complicated and I just knew it was going to hurt. I had to roll over onto my right side (the side where my kidney was taken), pull my feet off of the bed and then use my right elbow and left arm to push myself out of bed. I started bawling because I was so nervous, but I soon got my act together and got myself up with the assistance of my mom and two nurses, Laurie and Daniel, on the day shift. I couldn't believe just how good it felt to get out of bed. I had been itching it get out of bed because I was sick of laying down but I had been dreading it at the same time. Annie was already up and ready to go and was waiting for me in my room. She was coaching me the whole time I was trying to sit up.

I don't think I can properly express just how it felt to be making that lap around the nurse's station. There were so many people walking with us: my parents, Drew, Kendall, and all the other nurses ... it just seemed like everything came to a standstill. I was holding onto my IV tree, hunched over and I think Laurie had me at my elbow. Annie was walking slightly ahead of me. That was the moment where it all sunk in, just the amazing thing that I had done. Alfredo, the Yuma Star photograher, was taking pictures at all angles and the other nurses were just staring; they seemed to know what I was thinking. I was so overcome with emotion, I was bawling again (I cry a lot). I think this alarmed the nurses because Laurie kept asking me if everything felt OK, if I needed to sit down but I felt just fine. I was crying because my heart was just so happy.

What else happened Thursday? The rest of the day was pretty unremarkable. Oh yeah, they did disconnect my IV and they removed my catheter. I was visited by a woman I had met through livingdonorsonline.org. She was a liver lobe donor a couple years ago at the Mayo Clinic here and she gave me a card and two pins that I know I'll wear! :) Oh, and my transplant coordinator, Mira, stopped by to give me a hug and a T-shirt that I'm wearing now. I didn't eat much for lunch, but dinner was really good (yummy ravioli). I think we just took it easy and talked.

My mom did give me a sponge bath and it felt so good to be clean. The one thing that you have to do when you're in this situation is to have no shame. You just have to be comfortable with your body. Plus, your mom is your mom. She brought me into this world, so there's no need to be bashful. :)

I was so tired that night that I passed out at about 9:30. I only woke up twice, when Steven came in to give me more Toradol. By then my pain tolerance had risen and the Toradol was working for me. It was such good sleep.