Kick in the Throat Awards, the Entertainment Edition

Here are a couple of "famous folks" that could use a Kick in the Throat.

Kevin Federline: One of the most hated people in America, Federline would have to be considered a front runner for this award. With any luck his impending divorce from singer Britney Spears should be the end of his 15 minutes of fame.

There were rumors of him partying and spending Spears' money with reckless abandon. Also, after seemingly not caring about his two children for a previous relationship, Federline decided that he wants custody of the two kids he fathered with Spears. If you top that off with a BAD rap album you can see why he is not popular.

I'll give K-Fed this much credit, he is helping improve race relations in this county. African Americans hate him because he tries to "act black" in the worst ways possible. Whites hate him because he tries to "act back" and he ruined their sexy pop princess. Most men hate him because no matter how bad you talk about him he can say, "Yes, I am slime ball, but I slept with Britney Spears." It's hard to top that.

Mel Gibson: You have all heard the story by now, Gibson was arrested on suspicion of DUI back in July. During the arrest Gibson alleged made several anti-Semantic remarks some of which were released on a celebrity news website.

My biggest complaint about Gibson's tirade is that he blamed it on alcoholism. That is complete B.S. Drinking does not turn you into an anti-Semite. I drink, A LOT, some would say a little too much, but I have never ever got hammered and starting ranting about Jews being responsible for all the wars in the world. Any hatred he had was already there, the alcohol just cased him to slip up and reveal it.

So not only he is preaching hatred of Jews, he is ruining the good reputation of alcohol and that is an injustice that I will not tolerate.

Michael Richards: This is a surprise. Since leaving Seinfeld, Richards had been off the pop culture radar. I guess he decided to turn off his stealth mode because in November he came back in a bad (a bad) way.

Richards was video taped dropping the "N-word" more times than David Duke at a Klan rally. Most people understand that he is a comedian and lots of comedians use colorful language in their bits. The problem was that it was not part of act. Richards went a tirade that was broadcast all over the airwaves and had people shouting "racist" at the top of their lungs.

Richards gave a half-hearted apology on The Late Show with David Letterman but it was considered by many to be insincere. When that happens he brought to the big guns, a double-barreled dose of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

This was a great move on his part because as everyone knows, ALL blacks listen to Jackson and Sharpton. So if they say that all is forgiven, blacks everywhere will welcome Richards with open opens. He will be given guest appearances on all of the CW's Monday night "urban" programs and a front row seat at the Source Awards. (Please note the sarcasm).

Richards has dug a hole so deep even Mel Gibson feels sorry for him.

O.J. Simpson: There was a time when about 50% of the country supported O.J. Simpson. That time is long gone. When Simpson was found not guilty all those years ago he should have just shut up and disappeared. Instead he kept talking while searching for the real killer on various Florida golf courses.

Simpson's most recent screw up was agreeing to do a TV special to accompany his book, If I Did It. In the book he discusses how he would have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. It's was all hypothetical of course.

News Corp. canceled the plans after public pressure but the damage was done.

Britney Spears: Britney did one thing right this year, decide to divorce Kevin Federline. Other than this, this was a rough year for America's favorite pop princess. In February, was photographed driving with her infant son on her lap. Her June Dateline NBC interview made her look like a trailer trash. Her efforts to help her soon to be ex-husband's music career were unsuccessful (although I don't think Jesus could make people buy that album). Her parenting skills have come under fire. And her "girlie parts" have been flashed so many times that her OBGYN can examine her just by looking at photos on the Internet.

Hopefully Victoria's Secret will sign Spears to an advertising contract and give her a lifetime supply of undies and someone to make sure she wears them.

As you can see, there are several strong candidates but there can only be one winner. K-Fed was a front runner he hasn't really don't anything special. People don't like him because they think he is, for lack of a better word, slimy. Well there are lots of slimy guys out there. Federline is just slimy on a much larger scale. Don't get me wrong, he deserves a Kick in the Throat but maybe not as much as other people on this list.

Feet of Fury

Mel Gibson could get it for his comments and his lame alibi, but if you saw Passion of the Christ or heard any of his father's rants about the Holocaust then you should have seen this coming.

It comes down to Michael Richards and O.J. Simpson. An alleged racist verses a man who many believe killed his wife and got away with it. This is a much harder choice than you would think, so I am calling it a draw.

That's right, both Kramer and The Juice are getting a split-legged Jackie Chan style Kick in the Throat for 2006.

Feet don't fail me now.