Real news from The Weasel

Who needs to make stuff up when the news is sometimes stranger than the truth.

Here are a few examples:

- McDonald's will redesign all of its restaurants to make them look more like Starbucks. Gone are the easy to clean plastic benches. The McDonald's of the near future will feature tables and chairs.

What an innovative concept!

- You've seen the infomercials - Rod Stewart sings "the classics." The music sucked, but the gravely-voiced rock n' roller sold millions of CDs to deaf insomniacs.

Mr. Stewart has returned to his roots and created a CD of "rock classics." The result is his best record in years.

The Weasel is still waiting for the "Rod Stewart sings Rod Stewart" CD.

- While General Motors loses millions of dollars because they produce vehicles that get terrible gas mileage, a GM executive recently said the solution to his company's money woes is to produce more Hummers. You know, those behemoths that get about 10 miles per fill-up.

It looks like GMs turnaround plan might take a little longer than expected.

- Playboy recently opened a nightclub inside a Los Vegas casino. Along with oodles of alcohol and scantly clad women, the club features Playboy Bunnies dancing in "€œcages" suspended above the floor. For their own protection, the bunnies wear safety belts. Not cute furry safety belts, but heavy leather construction worker belts attached to chains.

It's government regulations gone mad!

- A U.S. diplomat told al-Jazeera news channel that the United States has shown "arrogance" and "stupidity" in Iraq. A U.S. State Department spokesman immediately said the comments, made in Arabic and translated to English for the al-Jazeera Web site, were not accurate. The translation was obviously wrong.

The diplomat later apologized for the statement that the State Department said he didn't say.

Pop goes The Weasel