Mitch Miller must die!

Let The Weasel be perfectly clear. The Weasel does not wish Mitch Miller any harm. In fact, The Weasel has great admiration for Mr. Miller’s musical genius and would like him to live a long and happy life.

But The Weasel predicts that Mr. Miller will pass away shortly after the publication of this blog. Mitch Miller must die to prove that The Weasel has abilities far beyond mortal men.

Many years ago, The Weasel had an uncanny ability to predict the deaths of famous people. Unfortunately, The Weasel didn’t tell anyone about these premonitions until after the person's death. That's no longer a premonition. I think the scientific term for that is - an obituary.

The Weasel was also good at winning prizes with scratch-off cards. You know, scratch off three of the four waxy blobs with a coin and win a prize. Every month The Weasel would scratch the Spencer Gifts catalog card and win the top prize. My parents didn’t want the electric toilet paper shaped like an ear of corn gag gift, so my psychic ability was wasted.

The Weasel was never able to predict winning lottery numbers, nor anything that would give personal wealth. The Weasel’s predictions were pretty much useless.

Over time the ability was lost.

But recently, The Weasel has started receiving visions once again. These are real visions - not some faint image of the Virgin Mary on a burnt piece of toast.

The psychic abilities of The Weasel are very strong right now. That is why I predict the death of Mitch Miller.

Who the heck is Mitch Miller?

Some of you might remember Mr. Miller from his CBS TV show that ran in the mid-1960s. “Sing along with Mitch.”

He produced 19 hit songs between 1958 and 1962 with his male choir.

One of his best-known songs is the "Colonel Bogey March" from The Bridge On the River Kwai movie. You know, the whistle song.

One could instantly recognize a Mitch Miller song on the radio. It was a group of guys singing really, really loud, with lots of reverberation added. His songs always sounded like they were sung in a school bathroom.

Mr. Miller ran A&R records for Columbia Records' pop music division and worked with some of the best know artists of the century. He truly is a music legend.

During a school open house, The Weasel sung “Frere Jacques” with other classmates while Mr. Miller conducted. Actually, he waved his arms in the air while we sung French words we didn’t understand. It was like being in the musical group ABBA, except The Weasel was only 6 years old and there was no hot chick in my group.

The Weasel is sorry to say that Mr. Miller, who was born in 1911, is now about to exit this world. Let The Weasel be the first person to say goodbye to Mitch Miller. He will be missed.

- Pop goes The Weasel