It's good to be the (single) King

It's amazing how seemingly minor events can make you reevaluate you life. It is usually the simple things that make you start to question what you have done and what you are doing.

Lately I have been thinking about past decisions and future challenges, trying to figure out if I need to make some serious changes personally and professionally. I even looked at my social life, more specifically my lack of one, and started think that I need to do an extreme makeover on it.

I am a confirmed bachelor. Believe it or not, I have said this since middle school. I was not one of those kids that felt the need to have a girlfriend. I never even had the obligatory high school crush. When you add in the fact that I was a nerd and girls didn't want anything to do with me anyway, you can see why I stayed single all through high school. That is probably why I was an honor roll student until my senior year, when Advanced Math ruined my GPA.

College was no different but this time I had excuses to justify my "vow of singleness". I was either too busy with work, too preoccupied with passing Calculus II (don't ask how many times I took it) or too concerned with joining a fraternity. Also, just like high school, women there didn't want anything to do with me. Add all this up and you get 4 1/2 years of singleness.

Now that I am out of school, work is my best protection against the dating bug. I joked about being bitter but I was actually ok with not being in a relationship. However, earlier this week, actually started to think that it was time to reconsider my plan to stay unattached.

I'll admit that there are advantages to being in a relationship. Things like companionship, no more being the third wheel, and oh yeah, sex. I know a couple of people in relationships that are (or at least appear to be) happy. Plus in the long term it would be nice to have a "Little 100 Proof". Then I could have someone to watch cartoons with.

I didn't plan on going out and finding a wife next week but I did think that I should at least open myself up to the idea of dating. I figured I have been in Augusta almost 6 six years so maybe it was time to step out and see what this city has to offer when it comes to women.

I drank the relationship Kool-Aid but thankfully I had the antidote (Crown Royal and Hennessy). Just as was I was starting to believe all that mess, I realized that being single rocks. I have seen a bunch of bad relationships and I don't plan on being in one myself.

I know that there are other single and proud people out there and, just like me, you all probably start to question your choice. So here are a few reasons why it's good to be single courtesy of the King of Single, Channing 100 Proof. This should help end all doubts.

Relationships don't last: Most published reports have the divorce rate somewhere between 40 and 50%. That's not what I would call good odds for happiness.

You can do stuff when you want to: If I want o take a trip, I pack my car and go. I don't have to ask permission, coordinate vacation times, or pack extra bags. If I want to go to a bar and have a few drinks I don't have to come home and answer a bunch of questions. If I want to hit the strip club I just pick up a stack of dollar bills and walk out the door. No need for me to sneak around when I am there, I just walk in big and bold.

Being in a relationship can cloud your judgment: Do you think Batman could have fought crime every night if he was married? No, because then he would worry about Mrs. Batman. He would want to know if she was safe or if she was cheating on him with the pool boy while he was gone. You can't swing from buildings with a ball and chain attached to you. That's what makes him better than Superman; he's not attached at the hip to someone. The best way to get to Superman was to threaten Louis Lane; she was his second biggest weakness.

Don't worry about having kids because they are overrated: I LIKE my nieces and nephews but I LOVE the fact that they aren't my kids. I show up, spend a little quality family time, maybe hand out some gifts and/or money then I send them back to their parents. I don't have to worry about putting them to bed, feeding them, sending them to prom, bailing them out of jail or anything else child related.

Relationships are expensive (especially if you are a man): It's nice to be able to look in your wallet/purse and see money.

That's only five but I'm sure there are more. Feel free to share your reasons why it's good to be single. Someone (probably me) might need them one day.