Some days you just want to fight somebody

KEE-YAH, ...!!

I have an admission to make. For the last 3 weeks I have really wanted to get into a fight. I don't mean a verbal altercation or a shoving match, I mean a lip busting, rib cracking, bone breaking, knock down drag out fight. I hope this doesn't make me seem like a bad person.

Notice I said "I want to get into a fight" not, "I want to beat someone up". To be honest, I don't care if I win or lose I just need to be involved in some violence right now. I would love to just walk into a boxing club or a martial arts academy and challenge someone, but they would want me to train first. I don't want to train; I need to fight...now.

I'll admit that unless I am fighting one of the Olsen twins, chances are high that I am going to get beat up. I'm ok with that because sometimes a good whipping will knock some sense into you. Plus, I KNOW that I can take a beating so I will be OK.

I have a couple of reasons for wanting to go "Fight Club" on somebody. First and foremost, I have some pent-up aggression that I need to get rid of. I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions the last couple of weeks and I think some violence would help stabilize me. Second, I honestly want to know how I would do in a real fight.

I am the youngest of four kids and have always been the runt of the group so I can take a verbal and physical beating. Taking it is not the problem, in that regard I am the Terminator. I want to know if I can dish it out.

When I was in college, I had three chances to get into a fight. I walked away from 2 that involved an arrogant dude who punked me out in front of an entire football stadium and a guy who decided to steal my backpack at the end of my first semester. The other one just sat around like an 800-pound gorilla for about 2 years. It never materialized because I refuse to fight over a woman that is not my mother or my sister.

I wish I would have gone after the guy that stole from me. He was right there in front of me but I figured it would be best to let campus police handle it (FYI, they didn't). The others weren't worth it, the embarrassment has dissipated and the woman is living a better life, but part of me regrets not resorting to violence.

Since I am not going to find my own Tyler Durden anytime soon I am doing the next best thing to fighting, watch movies with lots of fights.

Here are a few of my favorite films that feature throat chops, kicks to the head, punches to the gut and everything else that makes violence fun. To keep things interesting I am not including any that feature Bruce Lee.

John Carpenter's They Live - Not a true fight move but it contains one of the best fight scenes ever. "Put the glasses on! PUT 'EM ON!"

The Matrix - There was some serious gunplay in this film but the hand-to-hand combat scenes were pretty good. As an added bonus we get to hear Keanu Reeves say, "I know kung fu".

Iron Monkey - A little heavy on the wire work so the fighting was not as "natural" as some of the other films on this list but it was still a good movie with some high quality butt kicking.

Drunken Master - One of Jackie Chan's best. It combines two of my favorite things drinking and fighting. It was also a nice blend of martial arts and comedy.

The Transporter - This one is underrated. I saw it on TV and it surpassed my expectations. I thought it would be more shooting people up than knocking people out and I was wrong. I highly recommend it.

The Quest - I call this film Bloodsport Light. This film has almost all the action of Bloodsport, but none of the plot. Ignore everything leading up the fight scenes. Like Bloodsport, The Quest features fighters with distinctly different styles pounding on each other. Bad movie, GREAT fights.

Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor - Same as The Quest. Bad movie, GREAT fights (except for the last one).

Kill Bill, Volume 1 - If you have seen this one, you know it belongs on this list. Lots of people get cut, stabbed, sliced and diced. It gets bonus points for casting Lucy Lu.

Fight Club - This one had to be on this list. A down on his luck guy and his 'friend' start a fight club and become legends. How can you not love that? The fights were great and so was the ending. Plus it was nice to see Brad Pitt a.k.a. Mr. Angelina Jolie get knocked around.

Bloodsport - This is arguably Jean-Claude Van Damme's best movie. Of course if you are familiar with his work you know this is not saying much. I love this movie because it is based on a true story and it features some AWESOME fight scenes. They have guys that practice different forms of martial arts competing head to head so you get some variety. Also, Chong Li is one of the most underrated bad guys ever.

There you have it boys and girls, 10 good movies for the person who wants to commit acts of violence. I suggest that you watch them alone because you might try to roundhouse kick anyone sitting next to you but, that might not be such a bad thing.