The Weasel attends ‘Cars’ premiere

Hollywood knows talent when they see it.

The Weasel (producer of Shark!!, Shark: Dead or Alive?) was invited to Friday’s world premiere of ‘Cars’ at Lowe’s Motor Speedway in Charlotte, N.C.

Here’s what you missed if you watched the Disney-PIXAR movie premiere coverage on TV:

- The V.I.P. bus ride to Lowe’s Motor Speedway took much longer than planned because of a huge traffic jam at the raceway, made worse by a massive thunderstorm that swept across Charlotte. To entertain the crowded bus of V.I.P.s, they played a few short “making of” clips of ’Cars’ on the overhead TV screens. They showed the same clips over and over and over and over again in an endless loop that seemed like an eternity.

- At the track, belongings were searched to make sure any contraband such as knives, guns or umbrellas were not brought into the event. Umbrellas? Apparently an umbrella is a dangerous weapon at a racetrack. There was a box full of them at the red carpet entrance.

- The red carpet was divided into two sections. To the right, movie stars, the producers and director walked along the red carpet while TV crews did interviews and still photographers snapped photos. To the left, The Weasel walked with other less important people as fans yelled “get out of the way, I can’t see Larry the Cable Guy!”

- Actor Owen Wilson stopped to talk to a small group of people just three feet from The Weasel. Mr. Wilson shook hands and walked down the line. As he reached The Weasel, Mr. Wilson turned around and walked to the other side of the red carpet. What a bastard!!!

- On the red carpet ,The Weasel spotted Larry the Cable Guy, ‘Cars’ director John Lasseter, Cheech Marin and U.S. Secretary of Transportation Norman Mineta. The Weasel is a big fan of Norman Mineta! Now which movie did he star in?

- Once inside the speedway, the real size of the track is revealed. Lowe’s Motor Speedway is enormous! It looks bigger than 5 or 6 football stadiums combined. If it were the size of a single football stadium, the Coca-Cola 600 would be over in 15 minutes.

- The crowd was seated in the stands around turn 2, facing four six-story-tall movie screens and four smaller TV screens. In the center was a stage for the pre-show entertainment. Behind it and to the right were hundreds of campers parked on the infield, ready for Sunday‘s big race.

- Having the sound system drenched by a thunderstorm was probably not a good thing. Microphones didn’t work or cut out during mid-sentence. Rock legend Chuck Berry came running out on stage franticly strumming his guitar, but only he and the cameraman standing next to him could hear it. He had to stop and wait for the sound crew to fix the problem.

- The movie was shown with state-of-the-art digital projectors. This produced the sharpest, most vivid image The Weasel has ever seen on a movie screen. Even in the fog that rolled in early in the evening, the image remained bright and crystal clear.

- As the movie fans left the track, they gathered around re-creations of the movie’s characters. The biggest crowd was around the rusty tow truck named “Tow Mater.”

- Pop goes The Weasel