Auditions Part I (Phoenix)

"Hold on a minute, b----."

With those five words during the premiere of American Idol's eighth season, Kara DioGuardi became my new favorite judge. The sassy singer-songwriter/record label executive sure didn't hold back in her debut at the judges' table. That especially was the case when bikini-clad Katrina Darrell took the floor and attempted Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love." She was terrible, to say the least, and when Kara had the gall to show her how it's supposed to be done, she retorted, "Well your demonstration wasn't any better." Paula's reaction was priceless as she and Kara jumped out of their chairs and Kara had to be restrained. What a hoot. And then Randy and Simon sent the girl to Hollywood! If you could see me roll my eyes through this blog, that's what I'd be doing. I received a pretty apt text message from my friend Chelsea when the whole spectacle was over: omg bikini girl.

Talk about beginning with a bang.

There were a few bright spots more worthy of mention from the Phoenix auditions: J.B. Ahfua, the Latino 16-year-old who started crying on his dad's shoulder after he was sent through; Stevie Wright, another 16-year-old who showed remarkable control with her impressive take on Etta James' "At Last;" Deanna Brown, the 25-year-old blond from Kentucky who had the judges gushing after she sang the Otis Redding classic "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay;" and Cody Sheldon, the 17-year-old horror movies fanatic who surprised Kara -- and everyone else, I think -- with his sweet cover of James Morrison's "Wonderful World."

Feel-good stories seemed to be everywhere tonight. By my count, of the 18 singers that producers focused on, 12 got a "yes." The most obvious example was Scott MacIntyre, the 23-year-old muscial genius with tunnel vision. A nice guywith talent, for sure, but his voice left something to be desired. Another was Brianna Quijada, the personable 22-year-old who my friends immediately labeled "Oh My Gosh girl." She butchered "Let's Hear It For the Boys" but advanced anyway. Or Michael Sarver, the larger-than-life roughneck and self-proclaimed family man. Simon noted his likability factor. I wasn't so sold on him.

Everyone in my living room was sold on Alex Wagner-Trugman, though. The 23-year-old "closet-case" had a nerdy side that was endearing at the same time. And then he came through with a memorable rendition of James Ingram's "Baby, Come To Me" that had him sailing through to Hollywood. Good for him. And I don't think I have to say much about Emily Wynne-Hughes, the 21-year-old rocker chick who turned her back on her all-girl band for the yellow ticket to Hollywood. Idol's producers clearly want her to stick around.

Now I'll hand it over to you. What did you think of Kara's debut? Did she disrupt the chemistry of Randy, Paula and Simon or did she, as I thought, fit right in? How many of you are going to sign up to adopt a grand-friend today? And were any of you as tickled as me and my friends by Ryan's attempt to high-five a blind man or by Simon casually sending off one wannabe with "Thank you, Sexual"? Let me know what you thought of tonight's episode in the comments section.