Newsflash: Now even guys can go wild

Now even guys can go wild

You see some crazy stuff on late night TV.

At my job I work the night shift most Saturday nights. This past Saturday was my return to action after having the last two off. It was a quiet night and my shift was over before I knew it. When I got home at around 2 in the morning I couldn't sleep, so decided to watch a little TV to rot my brain while I waited for the Sandman. I should have just picked up a book.

About 2 minutes into my Comedy Central viewing experience, I was sideswiped by a commercial for a video called Guys Gone Wild. Yes, I said that correctly,Guys Gone Wild. With reflexes faster than a Wild West gunslinger, I grabbed the remote and changed the channel as quickly as I could but I had already seen too much. As I tried to find an ice pick to poke out my eyes I thought, "This is proof that the world is changing."

I remember a time when women had the market on being objectified. Movies, rap videos, advertising, if you were a woman with a killer body there was a job for you in these industries. No experience, and in some cases no talent, necessary.

Some women complained that media treated females as sexual objects. They said that women who worked at Hooters, danced in music videos and 'performed' for Girls Gone Wild were setting the women's right movement back.

Those working, dancing, and performing women could fire back that they choose to do those things. I don't think Nelly had a gun in his hand when he swiped a credit card through a woman's behind.

They could also say that they were the ones in charge because they were controlling the men. Let's be honest, the food at Hooters is good, but if you are eating there more than twice a week it's not the wings that you are going back for. A good stripper can make a man leave his wife with out touching him. Denise Richards can get roles in movies and television but she has little actual talent. That, my friends, is power.

Now these women have a new arrow in their quiver. Men are being exploited too. Someone saw Girls Gone Wild and said, "Hey, let's do the same thing with guys." The films have great subtitles like The Big Easy, Heatstroke and the very unoriginal Dude, Where my pants? It's nice to see that any gender can be exploited and treated as nothing but eye candy.

If there is one concern about this Guys Gone Wild project it is demand. Do women really need to buy video in order see men running around half naked and making fools of themselves? If you go out on a Saturday night can probably see it for free. If you are at a frat party you will definitely see it. Acting foolish is what men do. You don't have to trick us into drinking large amounts of liquor. Women will never have to pay to see men taking their clothes off.

On the other hand, I have yet to see any woman I know act half as bad as the ones on the Girls Gone Wild video. And I know A LOT of women. The only way I am going to see two women wrestle in a kiddie pool filled with baby oil is by watching the video. So the demand is there.

So ladies, as Women's History Month comes to an end, you can take comfort in the fact you have achieved another level of equality. Now that we have Guys Gone Wild it's only a matter of time before other groups catch on. Soon we might see Britney Spears running a credit card between Kevin Federline cheeks, WNBA teams with shirtless guys dancing on the sidelines, or even a Celine Dion video with a bunch of Chip-n-Dale Dancers dropping it like it's hot in the background.

I must admit that I am happy someone was brave enough to start the Guys Gone Wild franchise. Now I know there is a chance that one day I can be used for my body. I was used for my brain all through high school and during my first year of college and let me tell you, it's not that great. Since I deserve to be objectified and degraded just as much as anyone else out there, I am starting my own series.

Look for my new DVD, Channing Gone Crazy: Buck Wild at the Augusta National. You'll see me going crazy at the home of the Masters Tournament. I'll be streaking across the 18th hole, skinny dipping in Rae's Creek, and riding a lawn mower naked on the 13th green. Preorder now for only $19.99.

Y'all better order quickly because supplies will be limited.