Bush’s War on Oil

On Monday, the first salvo in the President‘s “War on Oil” was fired.

The Bush administration learned two things about running a war: soldiers need good-quality body armor; and you can’t run a successful war without troops.

Over the weekend the president called for reinforcements.

Two days before Mr. Bush visited workers at the federal National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Colorado, the administration hastily rehired the 32 workers fired because of budget cuts.

“We’ve never done this before - let people go and then hire them back in two weeks,” said a laboratory spokesman. “And what the heck are we supposed to do with these bullet-proof vests?”

Mr. Bush loaded up Winnebago One and drove to a hybrid vehicle battery factory in New Jersey. There the president outlined his bold initiative to improve the mileage of gas-electric vehicles.

“You’ve got your car, you pull in, you plug it right into the wall,” the president said. “Making really, really long extension cords is now America’s top priority.”

During the President’s State of the Union Address, Mr. Bush proposed to cut America’s dependence on Middle Eastern oil by 75 percent.

Yesterday, energy secretary Samuel W. Bodman corrected the obvious error. “What the president meant to say is we need Middle Eastern countries to take control of 75 percent of U.S. port terminals.”

- Pop goes The Weasel