‘GTA: Aiken County’ announced as fifth title in controversial series

Rockstar Games executives and Aiken County officials came together Wednesday afternoon for a press conference to reveal the next edition of the Grand Theft Auto series.

“Grand Theft Auto: Aiken County” is set for release in June 2009 and will bring fans of the popular series a taste of the Southern lifestyle.

Set in modern-day Aiken County, Rockstar Games President Sam Houser said the game will be an action-packed look at life in the South.

“Car chases, explosions and gunfire are all classic parts of the Southern experience,” Houser said. “From the Dukes of Hazzard to Civil War reenactments, we’re bringing it all to you.”

Houser said the game will allow players to scream down Whiskey Road at top speed and bring a variety of horses into the mix as well.

“Roads with names like Whiskey Road were made for speed,” Houser said. “Nintendo Wii users will even be able to control horses using the Wiimote like a set of reins.”

Promotional material indicates rural areas will feature interactive farm equipment and open roads for top speed.

“Frustrated by a water dispute with your neighbor? Nothing like doing a drive by at 14 miles an hour on the biggest, baddest John Deere in the county.”

Mayor Fred Cavanaugh said the game will bring international recognition to an area traditionally known for its equestrian activities.

“We are pleased to announce the formation of this new partnership,” Mayor Cavanaugh said, “and hope it will encourage travelers to consider stopping by in the future.

“Personally, I can’t wait to race down Richland Avenue in a Ferrari while firing an AK-47 at jaywalkers.”

Officials at Activision, maker of the ‘True Crime’ series, said they were disappointed to lose out in the race to capture Aiken County’s cooperation in the project.

“We are disappointed to be settling for ‘True Crime: Miami’ in our quest for the next great game,” a press release stated. “We believe Aiken County offered something special to our fans.”

Note: You have to realize that this isn’t actually real. Seriously. There’s a lot of places that series is going to go before it comes to this area.