We like rankings – if they’re positive

Did you hear about the Augusta-Aiken area getting ranked No. 8 on Throwin’ Bones magazine’s “Best Place to Play Dominoes” list?

No? That’s probably because you’re still trying to digest the city’s honor of ranking No. 3 on Fragrant Times’ “Smelliest Cities in America” list, or its mention in Tweaker Weekly’s “50 Places to Watch” feature on up-and-coming methamphetamine markets, or its honorable mention on Destitute Destination’s “100 Best Soup Kitchens in America?”

OK, so no one of those publications or accolades are real, but if they were, they wouldn’t be much more meaningful than those that are.

Wait, let me rephrase that, they would be meaningful to local leaders if they were “positive” in nature.

Community leaders, and, by proxy, the news media, have a love-hate relationship with lists and rankings.

If your community is on Money magazine’s 100 “Best Places to Live” list, which the Martinez section of the metro area is (No. 76 to be exact), you’re likely believe the editors at Money magazine are geniuses whose keen eyes for spotting exceptional quality-of-life are matched only by their vast databases of statistics that empirically prove your community is worthy of making the list.

If your community wasn’t on the list, you probably think they’re a bunch of eggheads who should stick to evaluating mutual funds because they have never even been to your town anyway.

Like I said, love-hate relationship.

Here in the 144 square-feet that is the business news cubicle, we see a lot of these rankings. Some are created by large organizations and national publications, and some are created by niche groups and magazines whose circulations are lower than many high school newspapers. We evaluate their importance and determine how much, if any, coverage is warranted.

Here’s a recent example: A fella I know sent in an article from Best Life magazine* that listed the 100 “Best Places to Raise a Family.” Augusta was ranked 85 (ahead of Fort Worth, Texas, but behind Oakland, Calif.).

Is this interesting? Well, interesting enough that it’s being mentioned here.

Is it news? That’s debatable. With Augusta being one of the 100 largest metro areas in the nation, it’s very likely to end up on just about any list.

For discussion’s sake, let’s say it is newsworthy. Is the news, then, that the city should have scored higher, or that it scored as high as it did?

What is one supposed to infer after seeing Columbus, Ga., and Columbia – two markets very similar in size and demographics to Augusta – score fourth best and sixth worst, respectively?

If you’re the type of person who really buys into these lists, you should probably move your kids to Honolulu – Best Life’s No. 1 “Best Place to Raise a Family.”

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: I was having lunch the other day at a local country club , and I struck up a conversation with an economic development official from Columbia County.
The conversation turned to the lack of major industrial projects in recent years, a topic I have a particular interest in because I’m growing weary of county leaders filling its coffers by boosting the tax assessment on my home every year.

But enough about me.

One of the things the official reminded me of – which is something I hadn’t thought about in a long time – is Columbia County’s disadvantage in state tax incentives.

In Georgia, corporate tax write- offs get tighter as a county becomes more affluent. In the state’s tier system, Columbia County is considered a Tier 4 county, the most affluent tier.

All its neighboring counties, Richmond, Lincoln and McDuffie, are Tier 1, the poorest designation.

It’s easy to see how a major employer, such as T-Mobile or ADP, both of which are as close to Columbia County line as you can get, would want to make sure they’re just inside the Tier 1 zone.

The companies get Richmond County tax breaks and access to Columbia County workers. Everybody wins.

Well, everybody except Columbia County property owners getting nailed with another round of property reassessments.

But, again, enough about me.

PEOPLE REALLY DO READ THIS STUFF: French Market Grille co-owner Chuck Baldwin has been getting a lot of calls from longtime customers lately. There’s nothing amiss – they just wanted to know more about his downtown location.

Eh?

There is no downtown location in the works.

Here’s what happened: People reading the list of new Richmond County business licenses in last Monday’s edition of The Chronicle’s Your Business section noticed the temporary license the Baldwins obtained to cater an event on Broad Street. They assumed it meant the cajun-style eatery was on its way downtown.

As one who has heard the “you know what happens when you assume” spiel one too many times, I will refrain from lampooning them.

I will, however, say this: Don’t fret. There are plenty of new restaurants in the works downtown, including White Azalea and Casablanca Cafe, both of which will occupy space in the soon-to-be-open The White’s Building.

$55.5 MILLION FOR REGENCY MALL?: That’s not going to happen unless someone discovers crude oil deposits underneath the old Montgomery Ward.

The New York-based owners of the 75-acre tract apparently think real estate in Augusta is as valuable as it is in the Northeast.

Chronicle columnist Bill Kirby seems to be enjoying his “when will gas prices reach $4 contest,” so I’ll join in the fun with a contest of my own: When will Regency Mall be redeveloped?

Send in your best guess, and, once the announcement in 2013 is made to level the buildings and start from scratch, I’ll see whose answer was the closest.

The winner will receive a $100 gift certificate … to Montgomery Ward!

MY BAD: Last week’s item on Milton Ruben Chevrolet’s land acquisitions near the intersection of Washington and Pleasant Home Roads resulted in a friendly call from the pastor at Pine View Baptist Church, who wanted to let everyone know the church is not leasing the former St. Teresa of Avila Catholic Church building. It owns it.

Here’s how the deal went down: Milton Ruben Chevrolet purchased the entire six-acre site from the diocese, then immediately sold half the land it didn’t want (the part with the church and parking lot on it) to Pine View, keeping the vacant tract to the north for its own purposes.

Of course, no one except those close to the deal would know this, however, because public records on the sale have not been updated on the county’s Web site yet. Thus, when someone (i.e. me) looks at the records, it would be easy to assume (and you know what happens when you assume) the dealership owns the whole tract.

HERE’S SOMETHING I CAN’T MESS UP: The good folks at the federal Bureau of Economic Analysis recently sent me some of the latest data (as in 2006) for the Augusta metro area:

- Population: 522,608, or 95th out of 363 metro areas**

- Per capita personal income: $29,328, or about 80 percent of the national average, $36,714

- Total personal income: $15. 3 billion, No. 107 out of 363

You’ll be able to get this year’s data by reading Scuttlebiz in 2010.

That’s as close as I get to a cliffhanger ending.

*Which is about half the circulation of Cottage Living magazine.
** Ugh. More rankings.