Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The movies has only been shown at the Cannes Film Festival and will not open in theaters until Thursday. But The Weasel has pieced together reviews of the movie, and gleaned information from movie trailers, online gossip and inside information to give you this review.

IT‘S JUST LIKE ALL OF THE OTHER INDIANA JONES MOVIES.

The movie starts out with Indy in peril. He narrowly escapes.

Back at the ranch, he hatches a plan to grab the Crystal Skull. But first he has to fight his way past Natasha. Natasha? Yes, Natasha, as in “Boris and Natasha.”

This movie has a plot hole big enough to drive a truck through (more on that later). But thanks some excellent acting by ants and monkeys, the movie moves right along (except for the boring parts).

Indy spends much of this movie in the jungle somewhere in South America. That’s where he is reunited with “Raiders of the Lost Ark” co-star Karen Allen.

Instead of playing the love interest, Allen plays a character from the second Indiana Jones movie - the “annoying blonde woman.”

She and Indy argue throughout the movie. They finally shut up when Allen (here’s the truck part) drives a U-Haul at a group of bad guys. Luckily for Indy and his gang, you apparently get a free bazooka if you rent the truck over a holiday weekend.

After the ensuing explosions, the movie ends quietly. The final scene shows Indiana Jones, played by an aging Harrison Ford, waiting at a bank for his Social Security check to clear.

While it is nice to see Harrison Ford in a good movie again, kudos go to Johnny Depp. I think he will win the Academy Award for his portrayal of the Crystal Skull.

Two Weasels out of Four

RUNNING TIME: Lots of running time. Lots of jumping time, too.
MPPA RATING: PG-13 for explosions and multiple, gratuitous shots of hooters (owls).
CAST:
Harrison Ford – Indiana Jones
Karen Allen – Annoying Blonde Woman
Crystal Skull – Johnny Depp

- Pop Goes the Weasel