Movie Review: Iron Man

Just what the world needs - another superhero.

This time it's “Man in a gold-titanium alloy suit that's painted red because gold is too flashy” (aka “Iron Man”).

The movie introduces us to super genius weapons developer Tony Stark, the son of a dead super genius weapons developer. OK, Stark's father, Mr. Stark, was alive at one point, but he's very much dead in this movie.

Tony Stark (the alive guy) takes a brief vacation in the mountains of Afghanistan. It is there Stark is captured and tortured by a bunch of evildoers and is forced to make a missile out of spare parts and a pack of chewing gum.

These evildoers are not the sharpest pencils in the box. They watch for three months as Stark and an assistant build a robot that looks nothing like a missile. Needless to say, Stark escapes from these nitwits.

Back at home, Stark has a hankering for a cheeseburger. Rather than ordering a “Six Dollar Burger” from Hardee’s, Stark orders a cheeseburger from Burger King.

There is obviously something wrong with this guy. He didn't order any onion rings! Those months in captivity must have messed with his mind.

After a brief fling with a reporter, and nearly kissing his assistant dressed as Jessica Rabbit, Stark decides making weapons is bad. So he creates a fully armed flying suit – for peaceful purposes. Perhaps a Giorgio Armani suit would have been a better choice.

Without spoiling the double-ending, let's just say the hero, Iron Man, battles a bearded Lex Luther. The ending is very shocking.

Two Weasels out of Four

RUNNING TIME: About a half-hour too long
MPPA RATING: PG-13 for explosions and a naked leg
CAST:
Robert Downey Jr – Iron Man
Terrence Howard – Token Black Man
Gwyenth Paltrow – Jessica Rabbit
Jeff Bridges – Lex Luther
Daston Kalili – Screaming Insurgent #1

- Pop Goes the Weasel