Richmond County schools to suspend playoff sports participation

“We’re facing a budget shortfall of several million dollars for the 2008 school year, and like other area education institutions, we are looking at the possibility of saving money through cuts to sports programs,” Bedden said.

Bedden said he was impressed with the innovative solution to budget problems employed by the Paine College administration.

“Not only did the expense control measure save the school over $1,000,” Bedden said, “but it devastated an entire athletic program and brought unprecedented community anger upon the college.”

When contacted about the proposal, officials at Butler and Glenn Hills high schools seemed to have mixed reactions.

In a statement, Butler High football coaches seemed to indicate no frustration with the plan whatsoever.

“We believe the program, though a detriment to other high schools, will probably not affect our football program whatsoever. We look forward to passing the savings on to our students in the classroom.”

To paraphrase the Glenn Hills basketball response: They’re pissed. And it’s about to get ugly.

On concluding his statement, Bedden seemed to reconsider the new plan.

“Actually, we’ll probably look elsewhere for the savings. Now that I think about it, the county school administration has had thirteen staff members working on creating the plan and writing my speech for a week, so I think I know where I can cut.”

Note: This won’t really happen. This "article" is completely fake. At least, I hope it won’t happen. Hopefully the rest of the area has learned from Paine’s mistakes. My sympathy for the players that had to deal with it.