Yankees to Pope: Keep off the grass

The United States is rolling out the red carpet for the Pope’s visit to the United States, with the President meeting his plane at Andrews AFB (he’s never done that before), thousands singing “Happy Birthday” to the Pope at the White House and much, much more.

But for his stop at Yankee Stadium during the tour, the Pope’s entourage has been asked by officials to keep the PopeMobile off the grass at the stadium. Really.

I think I speak for the 70 million Catholics in this country, and a bunch of other Pope-a-Maniacs* around the world, when I say: He’s the Pope.

Fact: They call him “Your Holiness.”

Fact: Anyone who is legitimately called “Your Holiness” can drive wherever they want.

Fact: This includes the field at Yankee Stadium.

Fact: The PopeMobile can do doughnuts on the field at Yankee Stadium during a game and you are to respond by thanking him for his blessing.

Fact: Brian Cashman only thinks he reports to “The Boss.” The Pope reports to “The Boss.”

Fact: No, I’m not referring to Bruce Springsteen.

Seriously, who in the front office had the stones to issue that decree? The Pope should issue a Papal bull (Yeah, he can issue a statement called a bull. Now that is powerful.) in response that he will do whatever he pleases, because he’s the Pope.

You would think this would not be cool with the high percentage of New Yorkers that are Catholic, so we’ll see how this goes.

Happy birthday, Pope.

Note: You can probably guess from my possible capitalization mistakes that I’m not Catholic. Sorry, I’m one of the Protestant heathens. This one is actually true, unfortunately. Check out the link above to see Yahoo! Sports' discussion of the issue.

* Hope I don’t go to hell for that one.