Mother of Boys

I came across an interesting study recently that suggested humans produce the gender of children they are most suited to raise. The study, spearheaded by a reproductive scientist in New Zealand, proposed that women with higher levels of testosterone were more likely to give birth to boys.

Of course, the minute I read this article I felt the urge to go outside and climb something. Or maybe whittle. Either way, the article left me feeling rather manly. And for some reason, it certainly felt like it rang true.

So often I feel perfectly suited to be the mother of boys (a good thing, I suppose); I’m proud to be raising tomorrow’s men. I’m learning, to a degree, what makes boys tick and how they roll and more or less what to expect on any given day.

That’s not to say it’s all smooth sailing. There are moments when I’m tempted to question God. Lord, I want to say, I’m not so sure! Did you really think I’d be able to handle their love of sharp objects, and extreme wrestling, and running into trees (even when it’s only an accident)?

And when I do ask, how quickly I am soothed by God’s mercy and love. Most days I am in awe of His generous wisdom in the details of my life – in the lives of us all. He is certainly a God who loves us.

As I thought about this scientific theory, I quickly realized most people reading the article could anecdotally dispute what this researcher was suggesting. For any bit of support one might choose to offer it, I’m sure there are ten-fold examples of why this proposal simply does not hold water. (And for those thinking about the millions of women around the globe who have children of both genders, the theory explains that most women have an “average” testosterone level, and thus produce out of 50-50 odds).

And here I am, the mother of five boys. What does that say about me, and the many, many women I know living a similar existence. As a woman who has repeatedly and exclusively birthed males, I am fairly confident that I don’t fit the bill as the "manly woman" this study has in mind. If you had a line-up of women and had to pick the one with the most testosterone, I wouldn’t be the winner. Unless it was me, Cinderella, Aurora, and Belle – but even then it might be a close call.

The bottom line is this – yes, I am a perfect mom of boys. I'm a great mom to boys because God has given me boys to raise. In that order. God didn't give me boys because I was already suited to care for them.

The truth is that the issue is more about the children God has given me – which just so happen to be all these boys. I'd like to think if He had seen fit to throw in a Balducci girl, there would be grace for a daughter, too.

I think we do produce the children we are most suited to raise – and thankfully, God in his infinite wisdom knows exactly who those children are. I think about the women who pray desperately to get pregnant, or the pregnant woman who prays desperately to have a girl (or a boy). Sometimes these prayers don’t seem to be answered. Until of course a couple adopts, or a couple has another boy or another girl – and they realize that this baby was indeed the answer to their prayers.

The best any parent can pray for is the grace to care for the gifts God has given us, be they boys or girls or some of each. We work hard, do our best, and pray that the grace continues to flow.