I recently lost my mother, and I have a daughter, a neice and a nephew. We were told by some friends who are going through the same thing that we should put out a picture of her for them to see so that they can see her and remember her. So I hope the picture helps.

This is part of a poem I wrote for a grandmother that lost a grandson. I changed me to Mema for your situation. I do hope there is some comfort in it for both of you

So no longer fill your soul with sorrow
Lean into the wind, smile to the sky
And fill your heart with joy
For god picked Mema, to watch over you
Ever since Shes been in heaven
RDMcDonald 1993

I GOT HER A PICTURE,ONE WHERE ME,MY MOM WAS OUTSIDE AND SHE WAS HOLDING HER,THEY BOTH HAD A BIG SMILE ON THEIR FACES.
I HATE HAVING MY KIDS GO THROUGH THAT KINDA STUFF BUT ITS LIFE,
BUT THAT DONT MAKE IT ANY EASIER.SEEING HER CRY AND TRY TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH SHE MISSES HER WAS A HELPLESS FEELING,THE ONLY THING THAT WAS MORE HELPLESS WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING MY PARENTS PASS ON AND KNOWING THERE IS NOTHING I COULD DO.

How very sad. I am at a point in my life where I'm realizing my time with my mother is limited. And it's so strange to think back and remember when her mother (my grandmother) died. I was a young mother myself, busy with two very young children, but the pain I felt when she passed away was more like I was a child again. I just wanted to bury my face in mama's lap and let her make everything ok. Your daughter doesn't really associate you as being her mema's child. She doesn't yet realize that while she lost a grandmother you lost a mother. She just wants you to hold her close and make her feel better. Dealing with your own grief is hard and I know your sense of responsibility is even heavier now that you don't have you mom to help. But you must be the safe place now. Your daughter needs your strength and gentleness. Don't be afraid to let her see you cry or to let her know how much you miss 'mema' too. Together you can come through this with a stronger bond than you ever imagined.

Years after my grandmother died my mother told me that just having me around helped her deal with her loss. One day you will be able to tell your daughter the same thing.

God's peace be with you and may His strength carry you through this difficult time.

For all you folks reading this note if your mom is still living go see her every chance you get and most of all tell her how much you love her. When I was a young boy my dad would say when you lose your mom you lose the best friend you have. Well I didn't think anything of it at the time. When mama was gone boy was daddy right. I was very fortunate I was with my mama when she died, it was a moment I will cherish all my life.
Take Care
&
God Bless

My boys lost their grandmother when they were 3 & 5 (they are 6 & 8 now). It was hard to explain why she was gone. She died the day after my youngest son's birthday. So that is a bittersweet time in our lives. I try to make it easier for them by taking them to visit with her every chance we get. It gives them a chance to sit and still talk with their grandma and to cry. I tell them no matter where they are, if they talk to grandma she will hear them and know how much she is loved. It's taken some time as wounds such as these never really heal, but it has helped them to be able to talk about their feelings and understand it's okay to cry if you hurt.

thats basically all you can do,its very tough to see your child crying hurting like that and you cant do anything to take away the pain,my mom was cremated,we have it in our bedroom,they have asked about once or twice but i change the subject because iu am not sure if it would freak them out,i reckon i could talk to them about it and see how they react to a possible situation like that.