Clinton campaigned in Aiken under “heavy fire”

The campaign is now claiming she was under fire in many locations, including Aiken.

The release indicated Clinton was attacked in locations including:

• Mayberry, NC: Two teenagers with a slingshot (both were Tazed).
• Aiken, SC: A college kid with a water balloon (also Tazed, which is dangerous with water involved).
• Buffalo, NY: An angry cat whose tail Clinton stepped on (which blew up like the cat in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation when Tazed).
• Western AK: A Russian T-95 main battle tank (Efforts to Taze it were ineffective. Fortunately, the campaign is equipped with the latest in anti-tank weaponry).

The USC Aiken student claims Clinton walked into the middle of an on-campus water balloon fight, and he did not see her until it was too late.

“We had 420 people involved in an inter-fraternity water balloon fight for charity,” sophomore Ken Chesney said, “so she couldn’t have not seen it.”

“I’m not taking responsibility for this one; she needs to get a grip.”

Campaign officials released a subsequent statement denying Clinton’s need to “get a grip.”

Claims that the presidential candidate was also under fire at stops in Detroit and Compton, California could not be confirmed or denied because, well, it’s Detroit and Compton. It happens.

Note: None of the above is true except for the fact that she ‘mis-spoke’ about landing in Bosnia under fire. It’s not a big deal, but lying about it for personal gain strikes me as a slap in the face to anyone who has actually been under enemy fire.

Bonus Game: Taze the Don’t’ Taze Me Bro Guy:

http://www.addictinggames.com/donttazemebro.html