Ferrell to star in indoor football movie

Following the success of sports movies “Talladega Nights,” “Blades of Glory” and “Semi-Pro,” the film will star Ferrell as he takes on the role of Augusta Colts player/coach/manager/owner/announcer/referee/janitor/concessionaire Colt “John” Wayne, a fourth grade dropout whose trip to the NFL Scouting Combine didn’t go so well.

“Wayne dreamed of playing in the NFL his whole life,” Ferrell said, “but a 9.8 second 40-yard-dash time crushed his dreams right then and there.

“He’s looking for another chance at the big time, and the Augusta Colts is the team that gives him his last shot.”

The team, which changed names three times while the script was being written, gives him a chance on the offensive line and is on the brink of cutting him until he promises to fill nearly every job the team has open. Citing budget concerns, the team agrees and he makes the final roster.

“People don’t understand why I keep making these movies,” Ferrell said, “but they make huge bank, and I’ll keep making them until I’m 90 if people keep watching. I’d be stupid not to.”

“I Am A Legend: The Colt Wayne Saga” will be filmed on location at James Brown Arena and throughout the CSRA by New Line Cinema and directed by Kent Alterman.

Note: No, this movie is not going to be made, and no, Kent Alterman will not really be coming to Augusta. Incidentally, Ferrell was spotted in Augusta during the Masters last year, and was pulled over for speeding in North Augusta.