Cupid enlisted to bring Coliseum Authority together

The few members of the Coliseum Authority that regularly attend meetings have agreed on a plan to bring Cupid in to spark a little goodwill and cooperation in the committee.

Though the initiative was not officially approved due to lack of a quorum, authority members say they will act on the idea.

“We’re tired of the frustrations we’ve caused the community by not being able to work together,” authority chairman Harry Moore said. “We think a little of Cupid’s magic could help bring some of the members together to make sure we get things done around here.”

Moore said he was hoping a light dose of Cupid’s spell could do the trick; anything more could be disastrous.

“We certainly don’t want anything that would result in marital strain or infidelity,” Moore said, “but a small prick from one of his arrows might just do the trick.”

Reached at home, Cupid said he is looking forward to the challenge.

“I spend my days sparking love in men and women all over the world, so a challenge like this really has me interested,” Cupid said. “Granted, from what I hear, this group might require more arrows than I traditionally employ.”

Cupid, a.k.a. Eros or Amor, said he has been tweaking his formula for years and believes he has just the thing.

“I don’t make a lot of money at this job, so I have a number of businesses on the side,” Cupid said. “I frequently speak at business meetings and conventions to encourage teamwork and cooperation, so I do have something for the occasion.”

“I also work in weapons development for a number of military contractors; you may have seen some of my best work in Rambo III.”

Note: Of course Cupid's not going to come in and change things. It would be awesome (and a little weird) if he did, but those folks need something to get their acts together. If they can unite in despizing this satirical article, then that's at least a step in the right direction.