On The Joys of Parenting

I love being a mom. I love it much more than I ever thought I would. But my goodness it isn’t easy. Everyone tells you this, of course, and you are certain it must be true, but you can't really say for sure until you find yourself going full-force into this thing we call Parenting, a journey that includes lots of victories and plenty of struggles as well.

Parenting is not easy because it's the most important thing I've ever done, so I'm putting my whole heart and soul into it. And then the bumps in the road are these glaring reminders that no, you cannot do this on your own. Even as united as a husband and wife can be, a couple might feel like they're floating along just fine until bump, they are reminded that the only way to get through this journey in one piece is to maintain a child-like reliance on God.

Right now, our major bumps tend to be the onslaught of relatively minor issues, but enough of them that add up to sometimes make me feel helpless. And because they are so small most of the time, I sometimes forget to pray and seek guidance. The big things, it seems, are easier to refer back to the Lord. But the truth is all those little things can quickly become overwhelming.

Several years ago, I hit a snag in my Mom Confidence Levels. I had two separate conversations within a day of each other about the fear of losing a child at a public place. In each conversation, the other mom had trained her child in a way that had never occurred to me. While I should have simply taken these good ideas and used them in my own family, the situation instead made me panic. What else, I wondered, am I failing to teach my children?

One night, I remember spending hours awake worrying. Sure I’m keeping the laundry current and the house clean, I thought, but I’m forgetting about a billion other really important details. What else have I left out?

I finally took a deep breath. And I felt God’s presence, and knew the answer – I simply needed to ask.

I was feeling overwhelmed and helpless because I was acting like it all depended on me. But God is a significant part of this equation. And he wants me to need him. As parents we must be proactive in our words and deeds, but we also have to seek guidance. And it will be there.

We work, goes the saying, like it depends on us – and pray like it depends on God.

One morning soon after this, Elliott woke to discover the Tooth Fairy’s absence – he had lost a tooth the day before and no one came for it that night.

"Am I the only child who the Tooth Fairy forgot," he asked. It wasn’t self-pity; just pure curiosity. I felt pretty bad about this incident and sheepishly mentioned it to a friend. She told me her daughter had been losing teeth with such frequency it sometimes took days for the Tooth Fairy to remember.

That news made me feel better, and also helped me chill out a bit. Is perfectionism really necessary? I realized it was better to just learn from these matters and then move on.

Fast forward to the present. Elliott recently lost a tooth and once again hit a snag. Except this time, he thought he had been robbed.

"I'm sure the Tooth Fairy didn't steal your tooth," I said in a haze that morning (the Tooth Fairy’s newborn had been keeping her awake). I convinced him to try again.

Sure enough, the next morning the boy came downstairs with his monetary prize, and also a note (“Be grateful,” wrote the Tooth Fairy, “for all your blessings.”).

“What did the Tooth Fairy bring you,” I asked.

“Hate mail,” said Elliott.

Just keep on keeping on. That's what parenting is all about.