It will be business as usual, probably

Psst. I have a little secret I’d like to share with you – I can predict the future.

The following events will occur somewhere in our metro area during 2008:

- A longtime local business, which some residents consider an “institution,” will close.
- A local entrepreneur you’ve never heard of will open a business.

- A large national company will announce plans for a major operation in the area that will create hundreds of jobs.

- A large national company will announce plans to close a major operation in the area that will eliminate hundreds of jobs.

- A dollar store will open.

- A regional county or municipality will end up on a national or regional organization’s “Top Ten” list.

- A reporter from a large media outlet will highlight the unflattering side of Augusta during his/her visit during Masters Week, or a national publication will. Business leaders and community officials will express outrage.

- A national big-box retailer will submit to local authorities construction plans for its newest area store*.

- Local government officials will approve plans for a national big-box retailer even though the project conflicts with the governments’ own growth management plan.**

You may be saying to yourself, “Hey, don’t those things happen every year.”

The answer is “yes.” That, however, doesn’t necessarily diminish my psychic abilities.

Isn’t prognostication really just an educated guess anyway?

WHAT ABOUT YOU?: What’s your prediction for the area’s business climate in 2008? Post your comments on the Scuttlebiz blog at www.augustachronicle.com/yourbusiness or e-mail me at damon.cline@augustachronicle.com.

THE 2007 SCUTTY AWARDS: You know what time it is? That’s right, time to make your nominations for the 13th Annual Scutty Awards, the awards highlighting the achievements (dubious or otherwise) that you really care about. Categories this year include:

- Cheesiest local advertising campaign (excluding Gerald Jones Honda’s “Who Let The Hondas Out” radio spots, whose odds of winning are so great it must be excluded out of fairness to all others).

- Most competent employees at a local fast food restaurant (excluding all local Chick-Fil-A stores; same reasoning as the Honda ads).

- Sexiest economic development official.

- Most egregious “fee” or “surcharge.”

- Convenience store most likely to have pumps “out of order”

- Friendliest payday lender

- Least attractive business sign

- Bar with the longest average restroom line

If you didn’t vote in the last election (ya’ lazy loser), consider this your chance to make things right. Send in your nominations to the same place where you send in your 2008 predictions. It’s right up there.

(I’M ON A ROLL) IT’S TIME TO GO SOLO: Word on the street is that a local investment group headed by former managers of the Solo Cup Co. plant on Wrightsboro Road have expressed an interest in acquiring the facility, and possibly others, from the suburban Chicago-based company.

The former managers are reportedly discouraged with the local plant’s performance during the three years it has been under Solo Cup leadership. When the 375,000-square-foot facility was owned by SF Holding Group’s Sweetheart Cup, it was the most profitable of the company’s 11 factories.

People close to the investment group say corporate bureaucracy and “leadership by committee” has changed the operational culture of the facility, which shut down its paper plant manufacturing line earlier this year, resulting in about 15 layoffs. The plant manager was canned around the same time.

It’s no secret that Solo has struggled to earn money since the Sweetheart acquisition. Earlier this year the privately held company orchestrated several sale-leaseback deals at its facilities (including Augusta) to offset the $32.5 million reduction in operating income from its 2006 earnings restatement, which the company attributed to an accounting error by a former employee.

Though it’s clear all is not well at Solo Cup, the question is, how bad would things have to get before it would sell the Augusta plant lock, stock and barrel?

UNVERIFIABLE FACT NO. 66: 32 percent – the likelihood Atlantic Southeast Airlines employees give you a truthful explanation for why your Atlanta to Augusta flight has been canceled.

NO TIME TO TRY THEM ON: If you were given less than a minute and a half to grab as many free shoes as you could carry, how many pairs do you think you would end up with?

If you’re Shanwia Ryan, of Augusta, and the store is Rack Room Shoes at the Augusta Exchange shopping center, the answer would be nine.

Ms. Ryan won the store’s anniversary celebration drawing and earlier this month was allowed to go on an 87-second free shopping spree. She walked out with $550 worth of Nike, Skechers and Timberland shoes for her and her 8-year-old son Daniel.

“It was wonderful and amazing,” she said. “I had never won anything before this.”

* A store that the “official” company spokesperson will be unable to confirm because they don’t have that information “in front of them.”

** Sales taxes über alles!