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Be like Jerry Falwell!

Posted by The_Weasel on November 29, 2005 - 3:22 PM

The Rev. Jerry Falwell has threatened to sic the legal organization Liberty Counsel on anyone who spreads misinformation about how Christmas can be celebrated in schools and public spaces. Perhaps this is his attempt to force people to have a Merry Christmas… or else.

The Weasel has decided to follow Rev. Falwell’s lead. Starting today, The Weasel’s crack legal team will file a lawsuit against the following groups if they don’t comply with the following demands:

1) Mexican restaurant workers must say “No habla Espanol” when asked for directions to the restroom.

2) Before a customer places an order, fast-food restaurant cashiers must say “Do you really want to eat here? There’s a nice Mexican restaurant down the street.”

3) Bank tellers must talk like a pirate. “Arrr!”

4) All video stores must stock only the following movies: “Weekend at Bernie's,” “From Justin to Kelley” and “Ishtar.”

5) Car dealers must offer a “buy one, get one free” deal on all vehicles.

6) TV weather forecasters must replace the phrase “partly cloudy” with “lather, rinse, repeat.”

- Pop goes The Weasel

Next time: It’s time to attack Canada

Submitted by Channing-100Proof on December 01, 2005 - 12:28 AM.

I like the rules, but you should add The Adventures of Pluto Nash and The Mod Squad to the list of movies that video stores have to stock.


Submitted by CJOHNSON30824 on December 08, 2005 - 2:00 AM.

I guess Rev. Falwell should just shut up and let the unethical liberals in this country drive Christ out of everything. Then we wouldnt have in GOD we trust on money. No one nation under GOD in the pledge. No Crosses to commemorate our loved ones who have died on the highways. Kids couldn't have prayer meetings in school but Oh yeah, they could attend homosexual awareness classes. Thats much better. The bible teaches us to treat everyone with respect and to love one another but no way we should allow God in our daily lives. So Rev. Falwell just shut up and let the liberals take this country over.


Submitted by zoo-head on December 08, 2005 - 7:33 PM.

Ya'll know something, I DON'T CARE! I believe very deeply in Christ and his messages. And I couldn't care less what Jerry Falwell, the Congress, the President, any/all states, law enforcement, place of education, or any judge or jury has to say about God, the Christ, Christmas, Easter Sunday, or anything related to any faith or religion. Talk as much as they will, they have no authority when it comes to these matters. I don't care who says what, how they say it, where, or when they say it. G'head, take in God We Trust off the coins and treasury notes. G'head, make a state religion. (They already have one, it's called nationalism.) They can try to teach whatever they want to my littleones in their schools. It won't matter, not to us. Their wierd and offensive teaching points that get cooked up by wierd and offensive minds and inserted into the school curriculum will not be anything to us other than a case study in what is wrong with worly living. Oh, I'm not withdrawn from interacting with the public, not at all. I visit with the Board of Education, principal and teachers. Sure, I vote to get that unscientific stuff removed. And when I'm challenged and I lose, I don't care all that much. I just tell my kids what I was told, "After your profession of faith, you are in the world, but not of it. You are different."
No matter what they do or don't do, it won't matter to me or my faith, not even a little bit. Because why, you ask, all flabberghasted like you are? I'll tell you why. Because it is my faith. That's right, mine! Mine and mine alone. Not the government's faith. It is between me, the Infinite,my family, and my congregation, and no one else has any say in it, no matter how much they try to create some niche in there for themselves. They can outlaw Christianity if they desire. I'll still worship as I and the universal church see fit, and my children will get the chance to decide if they want to believe as I do (once they're mature enough to face that decision). So, they can do whatever they want. They can't stop The Word. Because... well if you are a Christian you already know all about it. So why are you worried?
And if you're not, well, I'm sorry. We all pray for you every day.

I get so bored with the discussions on church and state.


Submitted by wa4kns@yahoo.com on December 18, 2005 - 3:30 PM.

if people don't like in god we trust, they should go back come from cul john marshall