Shopping List

I shop at the Mega-Mart when I want:

• crunchy granola bars, sold in quantities of Enough for a Small European Nation
• a half-gallon bottle of shampoo for $1.07
• a fifty-pack of diapers, enough to last all day!
• a bucket of vanilla ice-cream; I can use the container for a wading pool when we're done
• a headache
• one platinum blonde mullet wig. This last item made it totally worth the trip to the Mega-Mart and the 30-minute wait in line next to the couple who each stood in a separate line waiting for the quickest one and then got annoyed with me when I failed to understand that Yes they were together and Yes they'd be each standing in a line! This mullet wig made all that worth it; and I even got if for half-price.