Pirates and politicians and polls, oh my!

Just when you think world events can't get any weirder, this weekend a cruise ship was attacked by pirates off the coast of Somalia. Let me repeat myself, a cruise ship was attacked by PIRATES off the coast of Somalia. The Seabourn Spirit was on its way to Kenya, part of a 16 night cruise from Alexandria, Egypt when it was attacked. This event rises so many questions that I don't know where to begin.

1) Why was the ship there to begin with? - Before this attack Somalia asked for help in patrolling its waters (apparently pirates are a big problem there). The International Maritime Bureau has actually warned ships to stay at least 150 miles from the coast. If I know Point A is a haven for pirates, guess what? Point A is off my list of areas to travel.

2) When did cruise ships get weapons from sci-fi movies? - The crew used a sonic device, known as a Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD), to help ward off the attack. This so-called "non-lethal weapon" was developed for the military as a way to keep operators of small boats from approaching U.S. warships.

Translation: They used a sonic canon, a freakin' sonic canon, a weapon straight out of Star Wars to protect themselves. What's next Storm Troopers and light sabers?

3) Could this be a publicity stunt? - Think about it, a cruise line that fights off pirates with space age weapons. You can't tell me that is not a great marketing gimmick. "Seabourn Spirit: We'll fight the pirates, Royal Caribbean won't"

Speaking of evil, money grubbing, pirates, today is Election Day and that means it's time for us to go out and choose officials to screw us...I mean represent us.

As you may have guessed, I don't like politicians. All of them are crooked and so we are usually forced to pick the lesser of two evils. It's like Eddie Murphy said, "You know that they are going to put a foot up your a$$, so you just pick the one with the smallest foot." No matter how great they seem to be, they will find ways to mess up.

Let's look at our last few presidents. George W. Bush is borderline incompetent and seems to have a knack for starting fights that don't need to be started. Clinton is a horn dog that you can't leave alone with your girlfriend or wife. George H.W. Bush will forever be remembered for the "no new taxes" broken promise. For Ronald Regan's administration Iran-Contra was a scandal bigger than anything you have ever seen on "Days of Our Lives". They also learned the hard way that tax cuts and spending increases don't mix. President Jimmy Carter's suspect leadership skills and questionable foreign policy decisions were his downfall.

Here in Georgia our poster children for political corruption include people like Charles Walker, Ed McIntyre, Robin Williams and Linda Schrenko. Proof that political corruption sees no colors or genders.

I say all that to say this, Go out and vote. Maybe, just maybe the person you select will break the trend.

I am not going to take the Puffy approach and tell you to "Vote or Die" and I won't take the conservative approach and tell you that if you don't vote gays will be able to marry. I'll just say this, voting validates your right to complain. It's a lot easier to talk bad about a politician when you at least tried to get him/her out of office.

Now, if you will excuse me I have to get to the polls and pick the people with the smallest feet.

Happy voting!!

P.S. Thanks to everyone that has read and commented on my previous blogs. I finally found time to go back and respond to some of your comments so I encourage you to go back and check them out.