Forrest Griffin to fight Chuck Norris, Jet Li in a three way steel cage death match

Though plans for the three-way steel cage death match extravaganza have not been completed, initial reports indicate it will be the most ridiculous fight you’ve ever seen.

Promoter Don King claims the fighters are the greatest in the world, and will prove it during the three-way steel cage death match extravaganza.

“It’s simple, folks. You’ve got a man named Jet, which is just awesome, and you’ve got a man who beat the Sun in a staring contest,” King said. “Griffin will be the perfect complement to the fight, and should represent his hometown well.”

King claims the battle will likely last many months, as each of the combatants likely cannot be severely injured or killed.

“I’ve warned arena management that we may exceed our four hour rental agreement by some time, but they didn’t mind because they’re just desperate to host an event,” King said. “They did say something about being out before hockey season, but we’ll deal with it when the time comes.

“Given the rental fees at the building, I will probably take a bath on the event, but it should still be cool.”

Representatives for Chuck Norris were unable to return calls for comment and were subsequently found with broken necks after a typo in a news release lead to confusion about Norris’ immortality.

There is now no question about the mortality of his representatives.

Li responded to inquires about the match by confirming the rumors and saying he looked forward to crushing his opponents, then making a movie about it.

Griffin said is pleased with the way plans are proceeding for the three-way steel cage death match extravaganza, as the movie Sidekicks was his inspiration to start a martial arts career.

All proceeds from the three-way steel cage death match extravaganza will go to the Victims of Chuck Norris Fund, which was started at the beginning of his career to provide assistance to the families of everyone affected by his devastating roundhouse kicks to the head.

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