Georgia Golf Hall of Fame offers to donate wall to U.S. Border Patrol

With the recent financial problems and subsequent closing of the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame’s Botanical Gardens, the board of directors is making plans to get rid of one of its biggest problems.

Organizer Bill Thompson said the organization has offered to donate the Hall of Fame’s large brick exterior wall to the U.S. Border Patrol, to be used in securing the southern border of the United States.

“The wall seems to have killed our business, and they desperately need walls along the border with Mexico,” Thompson said. “It’s a win-win scenario.”

Thompson said the only condition of the arrangement would be that the border agency would have to dismantle, transport, and reconstruct the wall on its own.

“We’re proud to do our part to help secure the United States against the threat of terrorist movement” Thompson said. “It’s such an awesome wall; might as well use it to protect the nation.”

“Granted, if they want to compensate us a little for the wall, we wouldn’t refuse a check for a few million dollars,” Thompson said.

“And we promise: no more massages. They were good, but we learned our lesson.”

Jim Davis, a public affairs officer for Customs and Border Protection Agency, said that the offer was unlike any the agency had received before.

“While it is generous for any organization to offer its assistance in our mission, we frankly don’t know what to do with this one,” Davis said.

“Honestly, we could build dozens of miles of secure fencing for what it would cost us to deconstruct, transport and rebuild the half mile or so of wall they have in Augusta. To do so would seem a gratuitous waste of our limited taxpayer-funded operating budget.”

Davis said he couldn’t speculate on when a final decision would be made by the agency, but he said the suggestion to donate funds to the organization was “insulting and completely out of the question.”

Augusta resident Alice Feinstein said she was surprised and saddened to hear the wall could become a thing of the past.

‘Out of sight, out of mind,’ you know?” Feinstein said. “With the wall blocking the view, I couldn’t see the taxpayer-financed flop that the gardens became.”

“I just pretended it was some fancy new prison or something.”

Disclaimer: Once again, no factual news here. Read The Onion for more satirical goodness.